The true reason of my unwilling to enjoy this great day with others is still secret. But actually, if I have to tell you one of those reason, it should be - I happy to celebrate it this way. For me, Raya is something no more than any other days, I can eat anytime I want, so, what the different? If you said that Raya is the time for meeting others, yes, it is true, but meeting others is not something that I can do only when Raya comes. Every times I meet others, I feel the same feeling exactly as others feel when it is Raya.
So, please not to pity me for my decision, it make me sick. I will meet you any other days, my the same feeling of happiness, just exactly like you feel happy when it's Raya.
And more, if you open your eyes and make your mind wider, the morning when Raya comes, everybody is so busy, and unwilling to pay attention on you, keep dodging for many thing to prepare or to ready, and have less times for you, because he have to spare some to the guess which is coming. [Except, he only had you for his guess, that times, he may pay all of his to you]
Anyway, please enjoy yourself this Raya, and forgive me for everything. May God bless you all